typical girls

randomness and self-photography.

june 'dare me' pointer

i met one of my internet buddies, chris, 3 weeks ago. we were stoked beyond belief to finally meet up, down loads of wine in the napa valley, and laugh ourselves into a tizzy...if for nothing else, then to experience the fact that a random carnie came up to us to bum a smoke, stop for chit chat, and randomly interject an inquiry on whether we knew mormon girls can get fucked in the ass without having to compromise their virginity. i'm sorry, but that can never be topped. EVER. i defy anyone to have a better story than that.

chris in all his gay hotness.





and my best childhood friend, holly, who came with me to meet chris and boyfriend.

in the car on the way there.



at the tapas restaurant after wine tasting.

drive all the way to malibu...

i heart the beach.

malibu 2 sundays ago.







i also heart sea life.





and will rogers beach in pacific palisades 2 days ago with melissa.

THERE ARE THINGS I'VE HAD TO DO THAT’D MAKE A SLUT BLUSH BLUE.

changed my mind about liz phair's album. i am absolutely stoked on it now. SO good. the best song ever on it is called table for one. i'd almost say this is my most favorite liz phair song to date. yes, it even tops 'animal girl'.

table for one

i'm walking down in the basement
i'm leaning on the washing machine
i'm reaching back through a hole in the wall's insulation

i'm pulling out a bottle of vodka
replacing that with a pint of jim beam
i'm lying down on the floor until i feel better

it's morning and i pour myself coffee
i drink until the kitchen stops shaking
i'm backing out of the driveway and into creation

and the loving spirit that follows me
watching helplessly
will always forgive me

oh i want to die alone
with my sympathy beside me
i want to bring down all those demons who drank with me
feasting blatantly
on my desperation

i hide all the bottles in places
they find and confront me with pain in their eyes
and i promise that i'll make some changes

but reaching back it occurs to me
there will always be
some kind of crisis
for me
oh i want to die alone
with my sympathy beside me
i want to bring back all those moments they stole from me
in my reverie
darkening days end

oh i want to die alone
with my memories inside me
i want to live that life when i can say people have faith in me
i still see that guy
up in my memory
oh i want to die alone
with my sympathy beside me
i want to bring down all those people who drank with me
watching happily
my humiliation.

somebody's miracle

i was given a promo copy of liz phair's new album, somebody's miracle. overall i'd say she's lost her edge. even the self-titled had more fire than this. some of the songs are sweet and nice and the music is alright, but i'm wondering if she's writing her lyrics with a different goal in mind. when at one time, it was to write about what was happening in her life on a very detailed level (not just sexually, but relationship-wise whether it be friendships or loves), it now seems to be written for a more general audience, with album sales and movie trailers as the foreseeable target. which kind of sucks. detail was how she got people like me and all of her fans sucked in to begin with. her songs were so completely specific and just happened to nearly and DIRECTLY parallel things girls like us were going through. if i heard this album first and didn't know who she was, i'd think it was an american idol kelly clarkson-esque compilation. i'm sure it will grow on me as the last one did, but i'm not stoked on it like i have been on her first 3 albums.

minor disappointment.

still hot though :smirk smirk:

thinking about thinking of you

What in the world do you do when there’s that one person that can affect you no matter how long it’s been or how much time has elapsed between conversations? She does this to me every time. Tonight she called and we were talking about what an asshole she was to me, cruel and feigning indifference. And she’s arguing with me that she never meant it in a malicious manner, to which I replied that the intent becomes irrelevant when the end result is the same and was she really that stupid to believe that? And I frustratingly say I don’t know why we’re even talking about this, that I don’t want to talk about it anymore, it’s over and done with. And then she starts saying how she still loves me and how we have something very special and how much she misses me and how she refrains from calling me on a daily basis even though she wants to constantly and how she wishes she could be with me but that she doesn’t feel she’s in a place in her life where she’s deserving of someone that’s, in her eyes, flawless. That is such bullshit. That’s what cheating husbands and boyfriends say. To make themselves seem like less of the asshole. ‘it’s not you, darling, it’s me’. As though the reverse psychology is supposed to work. Yet here I sit being upset about it. And thinking about it. And thinking about her. And wishing things could have worked out if only she hadn’t been a fucking knob. Oh it might help if she wasn’t insane as well. God, I feel so head-fucked. And it’s my own fault for even allowing the conversation in the first place. Oh and now she wants me to fly to Dublin on my winter holiday. She’s asked me about this at least 4 times over the past month now. The bad part is I’m considering a stop-over if I go to Manchester. Now who’s the insane one?

wall art

since i'll only ever be able to afford a one room place for now, i'd like to use this as wall art - huge and blown up to window size so it looks like i have a nice view.



found some more pictures too from stockholm. just a few more that look pretty much the same as the rest but still, they're different. so here they are.

hollywood and vine is da bomb

we had a bomb threat at work. all of a sudden security announces over the loudspeaker for everyone to go to the east side of the building asap, that this is not a drill. turns out that since we work in such a landmark building, we get bomb threats several times a day. security just decides which ones to take seriously and which to not take seriously. holy hell. so of course everyone's like wtf?

so we go outside and sit. and sit. and sit. and the bomb squad cars come by and the police block off vine between hollywood and yucca street. and we sit some more. and i chain smoke. and it's hot as fuck out there. and sal and manny and i keep talking about going to the corner dive bar for beers but no one goes. so i smoke some more. and a group of us take a walk around the block as i light up yet another. finally we ask the police if it's okay to go back in and they say yes.