confusion

...and vagueness. i'm so confused. about a lot of things. it's weird how things happen in your life that you previously would never have anticipated. but that's the nature of events i suppose. i sometimes wish i had a babes in toyland-esque psychic spy to let me know what my future beholds. then i could avoid surprises, plan better, plan at all, know what's around the corner. i'm going to be 30 in a few weeks, and my life is no less confusing than it was in high school. we get older, we get smarter (one would hope), yet the increase in intelligence just serves to confuse us more, because now there's more to think about. once it was simplicity and linear thought that kept us in the dark. now it's multi-directional and robert frost-ish in a road less taken or travelled or whatever it's called sense. or something. and while this might somewhat put me in a state of despair, in another way there's some excitement about it. about the unknown, or about things or relationships or achievements that are yet to come. and regarding people, it's weird how connections can be made which seem very likely to turn into lifelong friendships. still though, i find myself confused about which choices are the right ones, which directions to go in that will facilitate my growth as a human being, better fulfill my life and my purpose, and lead not to regret but to satisfactory introspection. i just hope i can do it and someday look back on my life with the utmost pride, no matter how large or small or complex the idea, or the sum of the whole.