trailer park experts, i'm a-comin' your way

so...tomorrow i fly to kansas city, from kansas city to tulsa oklahoma, then drive with my parents 2 hours to joplin missouri. actually i don't see many trailer parks when i'm there and come to think of it, i don't think i've even seen one. but the general consensus of the tri-state area is: hate all minorities (especially them n******* [yes, as surprising as it may seem this word is very much alive and kicking in this state], mexicans [all races from all latin american countries count as a 'mexican' around here], and orientals [nevermind that the adjective 'oriental' is only used to describe objects - oriental rug, etc - around here that doesn't matter, since the word 'asian' is not part of the missourian vernacular]), eat fried catfish and all things greasy, start all sentences with 'i reckon', and eat more grease. should a book ever be written by an inhabitant of 'these parts' it would be called all i ever need to know, i learned at wal-mart. all i plan on doing is getting tanked since there is nothing else to do. the only time i will refrain from drunkenness is to go out to the george washington carver museum - a fabulously educational and aesthetically pleasing tribute to the raised from slavery genius of a man who discovered thousands of uses for peanut oil. brilliant man. of course, is this state run facility bursting at the seams with visitors? of course not, because it's missouri and carver was black. idiots. the same people not frequenting this great resource are the same people who pronounce miami as 'miama' and missouri as 'missoura'. mhm, i see an 'a' at the end of those names. don't you?